I lost my dog yesterday unexpectedly. I have never felt this much sadness in my whole life. I always knew that he will be my biggest heart break but you just cannot prepare for this loss.
Your writing is so true, that I feel like others don’t understand that losing your pet can feel the same or worse than losing a person. Others only see a dog, an animal and they don’t understand. But they don’t have to.
I never knew I could love a little creature this much.
They say grief is the price we pay for love and I can say that how lucky we are to grieve because it’s also a reminder of what was precious and that something was meaningful. It is truly an imprint left by Love.
Thanks for sharing your heart and your words. Harper sounds like the best dog and he'll never be replaced -- your words are such a testament to his energy, personality, and unconditional love! I unexpectedly lost a seemingly healthy dog 4 years ago, and I feel like I've never been the same, yet Scout made me better, stronger and softer in the 6 years I had with him to love me. Saying a little prayer for you now as you figure out a new normal that you wish wasn't was.
Thank you for your words. Loosing a pet is such a heavy grief. It’s been a year and a half since my girl Madison died. I had her for 13 years. She was mine before marriage, before moving across the country, before miscarriages and kids. It was just the two of us, and now my house is overflowing. But without her it feels empty. I still sometimes look for her at my feet when I’m on the couch.
The last year has been so hard for us that I’ve wondered how we would have taken care of her if she were still with us. I’m glad she didn’t have to live through the stress we’ve been through. But we moved a couch on Friday and found one of her toys, and I fell apart all over again. They never really leave us even though they do.
Can’t tell you how much this means to me, Lore, having lost Tess the same week as you lost Harper. And so suddenly and not peacefully, like you described. I feel all of this so so much 💔I didn’t realize how much anxiety my sweet Tess was holding for me until she was gone. My body kept time based on her; it’s felt hard to be grounded in the aftermath. “A broken heart is always going to be the most expensive and most inevitable cost of love.” Beautiful. What has been my refrain with Tess is “Love is an inexhaustible resource.” The grief is deep and I understand and have felt the shame you share, too. But the thing is, this tenderness we feel is the most profound and privileged part of being alive; to experience something that rips me apart makes me realize how precious it is to feel and love and laugh and cry and not be numb to the gifts and grief of life. God, it sucks. It is the work of life. I’m with you in this work. And yeah, poetry is the only language that seems to make much sense this summer. Thanks for sharing. It means so much.
Oh my, that Richard Rohr dedication. 😭 Getting a dog and having him choose me as his person, and all the love and affection and knowing that comes along with that, convinced me 1000% that our animals are beloved by God. I believe you will see your Harper girl again someday. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. I am 72 and throughout all of my life I have lost many beloved dogs. Each time my heart hurts beyond words. Currently we have a 14 year old Aussie whom we have had since he was 6 wks old. My husband and I are empty nesters so this beautiful boy has been our “baby” for all these years. We have jokingly called him
our Velcro dog. He has seen us through some of our hardest days …. the loss of all of our parents, our son going to prison, a grandson’s addiction, and our own aging and health issues. And he has been there on the best days ….. 13 grandchildren and now 6 great grandchildren. He is our fellow camping companion and he travels wherever we go. As you said, he is closer than my shadow. He has been my walking partner for all of these years and I cannot begin to estimate the miles we have shared. But I write this with tears streaming and a knot in my throat I can hardly swallow. In the past few months we have watched him lose the strength in his back legs and now most days we have to lift his back end up to actually get him going. He can no longer jump into the truck to go bye-bye and has to be lifted in and out of our camper. Some mornings when I wake I have to check to see if he is actually still with us. He is not in pain ….. just failing, and we are in the process of a long goodbye. Oh how my heart aches ! He is OUR boy ….. so precious to both my husband and I. And part of this grief is having to watch each other’s deep sorrow. I do not feel shame or embarrassment for this sorrow. He has been with me and tolerated my emotions when no human could. He has been a precious gift sent from Jesus. Of that I am sure ! So someday soon I will have to release him and send him back. I know that when I get to heaven he will be there to joyfully welcome me home …… probably with a blue football in his mouth ! So dear Lore ….. cry your tears. This is a loss that will always hurt. These beautiful animals are like our own little therapists. I will think of your sweet Harper as I begin to let go of my own precious Gus.
Thank you for putting these all together and sharing your grief. You’ve had a load of it. You lost a more than good friend. I teared up at the part where your neighbors were there when you got home. I hope when you’re ready I hope you welcome another pup into your home. I know this is woo woo but sometimes they come back. Sending along my sincere condolences.
These last few years have been loss upon loss for me, most recently my older dog and my mom a couple months later. The losses are not to be compared to each other but losing my dog who had been with me through a couple rough lonely years hit harder than I ever imagined. It all happened so quickly too. And my other dog seems inconsolable without his buddy. It helps to read your thoughts and realize I still am very much grieving him and need to give myself that space. I’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet Harper.
This particular post seems to be an extension of The Understory. God made our understories with reflections of Himself and our life: The pain, the joy, all of creation—but the animals are different. They can’t sin, and we can only apologize, which never seems enough because of their total innocence and devotion, which we must choose every minute of every day, or not. I am so glad Heaven and the new earth will be filled with them. There we will be able to just love them and the Savior who made them.
I am so so sorry for the loss of Harper. And, I so appreciate your willingness to chronicle your grief and share it with us. We have lost 5 beloved dogs in the last 10 years -- we rescue and frequently adopt senior dogs -- and your words are incredibly and deeply true as they describe moving through the loss of our dearest ones. Peace to you in the difficult days ahead.
My dad was "my person"---the one who made me feel safe and lovable as a kid, even though he always worked two side jobs in addition to his FT job. When he passed at 81, I felt slightly ashamed at how overwhelmed with grief I was — like it was greedy to mourn an 81-year-old. One cousin told me my grief was love that hadn't been expressed, but I knew that wasn't true: I had spent my whole adulthood thanking my dad and we left nothing unsaid.
I started a private Instagram account with no followers, and let myself write and post photos of the things that made me think of him, or helped me work through the grief. I still post there a couple times a year.
When we lost our 14-year-old lab, Duke, this year, it brought up so much of my grief over my dad. I have an amazing husband whom I love dearly and who loves me. But marriage is complicated; one day easy, the next hard. I realized this year that Duke was the relationship that came closest to making me feel the unconditional love I felt from my dad as a kid.
Thank you for sharing your loss, your grief and your love of Harper with us.
Lore, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss of irreplaceable Harper. I know this pain well. It's the worst. She was a beauty, and I will add Kooser's poem to my collection of writers' tributes to beloved dogs gone too soon.
Oh Kendall, I'm so, so, sorry. They are such a special breed, aren't they? I thought for sure we'd have her until 14 or 15. I never imagined a mere ten.
I could only read parts of your post, not the whole of it. I realize that even several months beyond losing our beloved Wheaten I'm still more raw about it than I thought. Nevertheless, thank you for putting into words what I will eventually read in full.
Things take the time they take, Mary said. No rush to read, not now or ever. Take only what you need, when you need it. I'm so sorry for your loss. What was their name?
Love to you, Lore 🫂
Thank you for this writing truly.
I lost my dog yesterday unexpectedly. I have never felt this much sadness in my whole life. I always knew that he will be my biggest heart break but you just cannot prepare for this loss.
Your writing is so true, that I feel like others don’t understand that losing your pet can feel the same or worse than losing a person. Others only see a dog, an animal and they don’t understand. But they don’t have to.
I never knew I could love a little creature this much.
They say grief is the price we pay for love and I can say that how lucky we are to grieve because it’s also a reminder of what was precious and that something was meaningful. It is truly an imprint left by Love.
Thanks for sharing your heart and your words. Harper sounds like the best dog and he'll never be replaced -- your words are such a testament to his energy, personality, and unconditional love! I unexpectedly lost a seemingly healthy dog 4 years ago, and I feel like I've never been the same, yet Scout made me better, stronger and softer in the 6 years I had with him to love me. Saying a little prayer for you now as you figure out a new normal that you wish wasn't was.
Thank you for your words. Loosing a pet is such a heavy grief. It’s been a year and a half since my girl Madison died. I had her for 13 years. She was mine before marriage, before moving across the country, before miscarriages and kids. It was just the two of us, and now my house is overflowing. But without her it feels empty. I still sometimes look for her at my feet when I’m on the couch.
The last year has been so hard for us that I’ve wondered how we would have taken care of her if she were still with us. I’m glad she didn’t have to live through the stress we’ve been through. But we moved a couch on Friday and found one of her toys, and I fell apart all over again. They never really leave us even though they do.
Can’t tell you how much this means to me, Lore, having lost Tess the same week as you lost Harper. And so suddenly and not peacefully, like you described. I feel all of this so so much 💔I didn’t realize how much anxiety my sweet Tess was holding for me until she was gone. My body kept time based on her; it’s felt hard to be grounded in the aftermath. “A broken heart is always going to be the most expensive and most inevitable cost of love.” Beautiful. What has been my refrain with Tess is “Love is an inexhaustible resource.” The grief is deep and I understand and have felt the shame you share, too. But the thing is, this tenderness we feel is the most profound and privileged part of being alive; to experience something that rips me apart makes me realize how precious it is to feel and love and laugh and cry and not be numb to the gifts and grief of life. God, it sucks. It is the work of life. I’m with you in this work. And yeah, poetry is the only language that seems to make much sense this summer. Thanks for sharing. It means so much.
Oh my, that Richard Rohr dedication. 😭 Getting a dog and having him choose me as his person, and all the love and affection and knowing that comes along with that, convinced me 1000% that our animals are beloved by God. I believe you will see your Harper girl again someday. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. I am 72 and throughout all of my life I have lost many beloved dogs. Each time my heart hurts beyond words. Currently we have a 14 year old Aussie whom we have had since he was 6 wks old. My husband and I are empty nesters so this beautiful boy has been our “baby” for all these years. We have jokingly called him
our Velcro dog. He has seen us through some of our hardest days …. the loss of all of our parents, our son going to prison, a grandson’s addiction, and our own aging and health issues. And he has been there on the best days ….. 13 grandchildren and now 6 great grandchildren. He is our fellow camping companion and he travels wherever we go. As you said, he is closer than my shadow. He has been my walking partner for all of these years and I cannot begin to estimate the miles we have shared. But I write this with tears streaming and a knot in my throat I can hardly swallow. In the past few months we have watched him lose the strength in his back legs and now most days we have to lift his back end up to actually get him going. He can no longer jump into the truck to go bye-bye and has to be lifted in and out of our camper. Some mornings when I wake I have to check to see if he is actually still with us. He is not in pain ….. just failing, and we are in the process of a long goodbye. Oh how my heart aches ! He is OUR boy ….. so precious to both my husband and I. And part of this grief is having to watch each other’s deep sorrow. I do not feel shame or embarrassment for this sorrow. He has been with me and tolerated my emotions when no human could. He has been a precious gift sent from Jesus. Of that I am sure ! So someday soon I will have to release him and send him back. I know that when I get to heaven he will be there to joyfully welcome me home …… probably with a blue football in his mouth ! So dear Lore ….. cry your tears. This is a loss that will always hurt. These beautiful animals are like our own little therapists. I will think of your sweet Harper as I begin to let go of my own precious Gus.
Thank you for putting these all together and sharing your grief. You’ve had a load of it. You lost a more than good friend. I teared up at the part where your neighbors were there when you got home. I hope when you’re ready I hope you welcome another pup into your home. I know this is woo woo but sometimes they come back. Sending along my sincere condolences.
These last few years have been loss upon loss for me, most recently my older dog and my mom a couple months later. The losses are not to be compared to each other but losing my dog who had been with me through a couple rough lonely years hit harder than I ever imagined. It all happened so quickly too. And my other dog seems inconsolable without his buddy. It helps to read your thoughts and realize I still am very much grieving him and need to give myself that space. I’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet Harper.
This particular post seems to be an extension of The Understory. God made our understories with reflections of Himself and our life: The pain, the joy, all of creation—but the animals are different. They can’t sin, and we can only apologize, which never seems enough because of their total innocence and devotion, which we must choose every minute of every day, or not. I am so glad Heaven and the new earth will be filled with them. There we will be able to just love them and the Savior who made them.
His name was Ole (as in MN Sven & Ole jokes!) He brought so much joy every day of his Wheaten-esque life! Thank you for you comment back to me.
I am so so sorry for the loss of Harper. And, I so appreciate your willingness to chronicle your grief and share it with us. We have lost 5 beloved dogs in the last 10 years -- we rescue and frequently adopt senior dogs -- and your words are incredibly and deeply true as they describe moving through the loss of our dearest ones. Peace to you in the difficult days ahead.
My dad was "my person"---the one who made me feel safe and lovable as a kid, even though he always worked two side jobs in addition to his FT job. When he passed at 81, I felt slightly ashamed at how overwhelmed with grief I was — like it was greedy to mourn an 81-year-old. One cousin told me my grief was love that hadn't been expressed, but I knew that wasn't true: I had spent my whole adulthood thanking my dad and we left nothing unsaid.
I started a private Instagram account with no followers, and let myself write and post photos of the things that made me think of him, or helped me work through the grief. I still post there a couple times a year.
When we lost our 14-year-old lab, Duke, this year, it brought up so much of my grief over my dad. I have an amazing husband whom I love dearly and who loves me. But marriage is complicated; one day easy, the next hard. I realized this year that Duke was the relationship that came closest to making me feel the unconditional love I felt from my dad as a kid.
Thank you for sharing your loss, your grief and your love of Harper with us.
I'm so sorry for your loss upon loss. I really do think there is something of God in a dog. There's this stanza from a poem that I've thought about a lot the past weeks: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/53677/the-blessing-of-the-old-woman-the-tulip-and-the-dog
To be blessed
said the dog
is to have a pinch
of God
inside you
and all the other
dogs can smell it
So true. 💛💛💛
Lore, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss of irreplaceable Harper. I know this pain well. It's the worst. She was a beauty, and I will add Kooser's poem to my collection of writers' tributes to beloved dogs gone too soon.
That Kooser poem was the closest thing I've read in recent weeks to how it's all felt. Truly, the foundation of our home has shifted.
Oh my. I lost a beloved Wheaten in 2019 and am in the process of losing another Wheaten now. Thank you, thank you for all of this. ❤️💔
Oh Kendall, I'm so, so, sorry. They are such a special breed, aren't they? I thought for sure we'd have her until 14 or 15. I never imagined a mere ten.
🙏
I could only read parts of your post, not the whole of it. I realize that even several months beyond losing our beloved Wheaten I'm still more raw about it than I thought. Nevertheless, thank you for putting into words what I will eventually read in full.
Things take the time they take, Mary said. No rush to read, not now or ever. Take only what you need, when you need it. I'm so sorry for your loss. What was their name?