May I admit I struggle with the high holidays? Perhaps I take Paul out of context in Romans 14, but I'm not fully convinced in my own mind that one day is more special than another and find myself getting caught up in why our calendar chooses the day it does and how sometimes it coincides with Passover, as it makes sense to me that it should, and sometimes it doesn't. Never mind the spectacle some of us make out of it, and here I am with only divinely provided jeans and tees. My cynicism is showing, and I apologize.
I love Jesus, and I also cuss...a lot. I love Jesus, and I feel like that should be lived out each and every day...somedays in joyful worship and somedays in a moanful prayer. Idk what I'm even attempting to say, but I'm grateful that you've created a space in which I feel safe saying it.
Because He lives, I can face today, and tomorrow, and the next day...regardless of whether I really feel like it or not. He's good, and He's sovereign, and because of that and oh so much more, I find my hope.
Thank you, Lore. I wrestle with this a lot. This past Saturday, I was grieving with a friend over our dead children. The Sunday after was Easter, and yes, that gives us hope, but right now, they’re still dead. Jesus will come, but he’s not here yet. Sometimes we just need that space.
I would have been the same, that is how the last four years have been for me. I couldn't go to church at all except on tv as I was a caregiver for my Mom, who passed away in February. I got an email from The Chosen and I made a plan. I spent all week listening to the Bible Project's Beatitudes series, then I made an investment and went to the theater to see the Chosen Season four. It was more money than I should have spent but I needed uplifting. It took three days (ha, ha) to get through the series. I felt a burden lift. I went to a church 30 minutes from me and found myself a well to drink from of diverse, praising, living-for-Jesus people. I am going to make a plan each year.
Yes. And it is wearing. Thank the GOOD Lord for the promises He gives that we can hold onto for dear life because it’s literally all that’s getting me through right now. My expectations for myself at this point are abysmally low—I’m just hanging on until Sunday at this point. And most of the time I can’t even hang on, so it’s really just HIM hanging onto me until Sunday. *sigh*
Gosh darn! How you nail it all the time is beyond me but I’m so thankful you have the words for all the feelings. I’ll just keep on weeping and it’s gonna be ok ❤️
I just walked out of my office and told N, “I am exhausted, like deep down emotional exhaustion.” This weekend was tough for many reasons and, although you already know this, I just wanted to say “I feel ya”. ♥️
They are. I mean, isn't it beautiful that we call Thursday, Maundy, and Friday, Good, and Sunday, Resurrection Day, but Saturday, that hushed and hallowed and hollowed out day? We call it holy.
Thanks for this. Holidays are hard for us. Both of our adult kids have turned away from the genuine faith they grew up with and embraced lifestyles that have prompted my parents and my husband's brother's family to basically disown them. So family gatherings--for years a source of joy for us all--are no longer possible. Our former little country church is so wrapped up in the political and culture war scene that we finally abandoned it--and the several other churches nearby that we also tried. Plus, "good" church people don't really know what to do with us, now that our kids have become the others they most despise--but we have chosen to still embrace them (and use their new names and pronouns) instead of "exercising tough love" to show them the consequences of their actions. Ugh. I'm ranting. I'm sorry. We don't even know each other. I just meant to say thanks. I needed your post this morning. Glad I found your stack.
Most of us need love, love to remind us who we are and who God made us to be, so I love that you're just loving your kids. That's what we all need at the end of the day, God's most of all.
You don't have to wonder who the new wicked pharisees are. Jesus is an invitation not a condemnation. I understand scripture and what it says, but I also understand Jesus reached out to people who could not possibly understand why they had the station in life they had either, why they were born in a time of occupation, why a leper?
Great post! I feel like you crawled inside my mind and poked around just a little ❤️
May I admit I struggle with the high holidays? Perhaps I take Paul out of context in Romans 14, but I'm not fully convinced in my own mind that one day is more special than another and find myself getting caught up in why our calendar chooses the day it does and how sometimes it coincides with Passover, as it makes sense to me that it should, and sometimes it doesn't. Never mind the spectacle some of us make out of it, and here I am with only divinely provided jeans and tees. My cynicism is showing, and I apologize.
I love Jesus, and I also cuss...a lot. I love Jesus, and I feel like that should be lived out each and every day...somedays in joyful worship and somedays in a moanful prayer. Idk what I'm even attempting to say, but I'm grateful that you've created a space in which I feel safe saying it.
Because He lives, I can face today, and tomorrow, and the next day...regardless of whether I really feel like it or not. He's good, and He's sovereign, and because of that and oh so much more, I find my hope.
Easter Sunday was not what I hoped for and the remnants of that sadness were very evident today. Thank you for these words.
I'm so sorry, and also, solidarity.
Thank you, Lore. I wrestle with this a lot. This past Saturday, I was grieving with a friend over our dead children. The Sunday after was Easter, and yes, that gives us hope, but right now, they’re still dead. Jesus will come, but he’s not here yet. Sometimes we just need that space.
Yes. Already/Not yet. The great tension of all of life.
I watched “The Beautiful Game” on Netflix, learned that the Homeless World Cup is a real thing, and cried about it.
Um, that sounds beautiful. I thought of you on Easter, knowing you were somewhere too, not in the place you once imagined you'd always be on Easter.
I would have been the same, that is how the last four years have been for me. I couldn't go to church at all except on tv as I was a caregiver for my Mom, who passed away in February. I got an email from The Chosen and I made a plan. I spent all week listening to the Bible Project's Beatitudes series, then I made an investment and went to the theater to see the Chosen Season four. It was more money than I should have spent but I needed uplifting. It took three days (ha, ha) to get through the series. I felt a burden lift. I went to a church 30 minutes from me and found myself a well to drink from of diverse, praising, living-for-Jesus people. I am going to make a plan each year.
Gosh, I love The Chosen. I love it so much. I'm so glad you found a bit of solace amidst the hard season of your life, friend.
Me..right now…and the past two years. Sunday is feeling more and more like a myth.
On my good days I believe it to be true, but man, the hard days sure do mount up don't they?
Yes. And it is wearing. Thank the GOOD Lord for the promises He gives that we can hold onto for dear life because it’s literally all that’s getting me through right now. My expectations for myself at this point are abysmally low—I’m just hanging on until Sunday at this point. And most of the time I can’t even hang on, so it’s really just HIM hanging onto me until Sunday. *sigh*
Gosh darn! How you nail it all the time is beyond me but I’m so thankful you have the words for all the feelings. I’ll just keep on weeping and it’s gonna be ok ❤️
I'm glad it helped =)
I just walked out of my office and told N, “I am exhausted, like deep down emotional exhaustion.” This weekend was tough for many reasons and, although you already know this, I just wanted to say “I feel ya”. ♥️
I just told Nate, "I want the off button. Where's the 'get off this ride' option?" So, I feel ya right back, friend =)
Yes yes yes. All the Saturdays here. Hard to remember they are holy too
They are. I mean, isn't it beautiful that we call Thursday, Maundy, and Friday, Good, and Sunday, Resurrection Day, but Saturday, that hushed and hallowed and hollowed out day? We call it holy.
Thanks for your words. Living in a long Holy Saturday over here too.
Sending love your way.
Right there with you. Also...fantastic use of footnotes. :)
Got to keep myself honest, friend, that's all =)
That footnote. I thought the same.
Thanks for this. Holidays are hard for us. Both of our adult kids have turned away from the genuine faith they grew up with and embraced lifestyles that have prompted my parents and my husband's brother's family to basically disown them. So family gatherings--for years a source of joy for us all--are no longer possible. Our former little country church is so wrapped up in the political and culture war scene that we finally abandoned it--and the several other churches nearby that we also tried. Plus, "good" church people don't really know what to do with us, now that our kids have become the others they most despise--but we have chosen to still embrace them (and use their new names and pronouns) instead of "exercising tough love" to show them the consequences of their actions. Ugh. I'm ranting. I'm sorry. We don't even know each other. I just meant to say thanks. I needed your post this morning. Glad I found your stack.
Most of us need love, love to remind us who we are and who God made us to be, so I love that you're just loving your kids. That's what we all need at the end of the day, God's most of all.
You don't have to wonder who the new wicked pharisees are. Jesus is an invitation not a condemnation. I understand scripture and what it says, but I also understand Jesus reached out to people who could not possibly understand why they had the station in life they had either, why they were born in a time of occupation, why a leper?
Thank you, Lore. I definitely feel this. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.
You are definitely not the only one =)