As writers, we hold the tension of reality and what reality is/isn’t/was/could be. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I appreciated your thoughts here! Thank you.
I read the New Yorker article you posted, and this article came up when I searched for more information about her life. I think it also gets at some of the points you were touching on.
I really appreciate your thoughts on this topic. What I can’t wrap my head around is Elizabeth Gilbert’s confession of trying to murder the woman she loved!?! Is this truly a fact?
I had not known any of this that came out about The Tell. When I read it last year, I was (like others commenting here) struck by the "offness" of it. I didn't want to say anything because there are so many women who are not believed. But somehow all this does not surprise me.
I remember reading that article about L'Engle a while ago and it struck me so hard that I still remember where I was when I read the line about her memoirs being fiction and her fiction being autobiographies. It feels so tender about L'Engle though because I feel like I can sense her straining toward the light. Was all that straining a falsehood?
I also felt "off" about it but I often do about certain memoir genres and I never know whether that feeling is trustworthy or just my own junk coming up. But I've heard a bunch of others feel similarly about it. I also felt this way about The Salt Path, which is why I didn't read it until a year or so ago. I want to say, "Look, see! My intuition can be trusted!" because I'm learning it usually can be trusted, but I don't trust myself enough to say that fully yet 😂
I have a tenderness for L’Engle, and I imagine I always will, with all her foibles…this is a tension I’m thinking a lot about these days—how to love those who bless and wound at the same time—which is to say, how to love others.
I read The Tell before the stories about it started breaking and remember feeling like something seemed “off” about it. I didn’t believe her and questioned my own judgment because I felt suspicious of her story. It’s terrible what has come to light, and always insult to injury when we learn that people knew better and did nothing. Seems to be the flavor of the times we are living in these days. 😵💫 I’m grateful for the way you wrestle words, the way you work to be honest and say the “unsayable”.
I want to do some more thinking about this feeling many of us identify as "feeling something is off" but not trusting ourselves to say it aloud until it all comes crashing down. I feel this about so. many. things. and people and I feel like sometimes I'm just waiting for it all to surface. I don't think this can be healthy, but at the same time, I spent so many years stuffing that intuition down and I never want to do that again.
I hear you. I think it’s so complicated particularly when someone is speaking about being harmed. For much of my life, the narrative around women who reported abuse or assault centered around naming all the ways she “put herself if a situation” where harm could happen—everything from blaming her clothing choices to whether or not she was drinking, etc. It’s taken years to undo that kind of internal questioning/victim blaming. So when a story like The Tell comes out, I’m doing all the same kind of mental gymnastics to try to make sure I’m not assuming the victim is lying, etc. discernment is complicated, and more often than not, something “feels off” and that’s all I (we’ve) got to go on. We’re trying to trust ourselves, trust the victims, and believe in good faith that those in “power” are not committing evil in their own right. How do we keep learning to trust ourselves, and hold the stories of those who have suffered without an automatic posture of suspicion, especially when we live in a “culture of lies”? So much to think about….
The “why” of writing and the “why” of reading are things we can examine on behalf of ourselves but maybe not so much on behalf of others, unless it is made clear in a consistent and believable way. Case in point, Bunny Wilson’s, Betrayal’s Baby, a book by a daughter about her mother. It’s very painful to read, but with a clear purpose throughout: Understanding, compassion, then forgiveness. Unless a book is mapped out in such a way, the “why” may remain a mystery for both author and reader, sending many down rabbit holes into burrows that go on forever.
I wonder a lot about whether we need to explain, or, to use your language, map out, the why for readers. It's helpful when it happens but I don't always want to do it because sometimes I want to just let the work stand for itself =)
I feel sensitive about L'Engle, being also a writer, and valuing her books and theology. And I'd read that article a few years ago and felt unmoored by it, too. But I think your approach is wise. So much of what she was accused of is sheer humanity. I wish there were a term for this type of accusation, which I see often. I confess I noticed it first when I was "diagnosed" with a mental breakdown (by very loving people in my life) in part because "it's typical of mentally ill people to have bizarre ideas about hell."
Hello? Have you ever met anyone who does NOT have bizarre ideas about hell? It's like saying "Most serial killers like chocolate" to diagnose passing serial killers. Do you know? Is there a term for this type of behavior? (Maybe we could coin one, let's try a shocker-term, a portmanteau of bizarre and hell).
Likewise, I see in myself a penchant for spotting inconsistencies in other people, the people I don't want to like. I'm always telling myself, "Look, inconsistency is low-hanging fruit." Everyone is inconsistent. No, we don't want to make excuses for wrong behavior...but it's okay to be generous with others who are also still growing. Thanks for your commentary on this subject; it applies to more than just writers.
I had never read Madeline L'Engle until you recommended her. I've read a few of her books and I've enjoyed them. She is a skilled author. I really appreciated your take on "truth" and canceling and reading good books.
Thank you! I recognize that maybe she isn't as skilled or the best there ever was, but she was formative for me at a particular juncture and has remained formative for me through the years.
Thank you for writing this. I listened to The Tell, and was sad to start seeing more come out about it shortly thereafter. I questioned the drug and "recovery" aspect, but it also seemed too personally fit to her life, with the conversations with her children and such, to expect something like this. I've been sucked in to all of the commentary on West's book, even though I never planned to read it. It's so sad. I appreciate how you've spoken about truth, slant, plagiarism, and writing from pain over the years. I am writing a lot from pain at the moment, privately, and although I'm nowhere near a place where it would be shared, I already worry about how to handle that in the future (maybe distance is the answer?) because of that URGE to share.
I believe this is something we all must walk in the shadow of, isn't it? And I also believe that God is always closer than we know and may, in fact, be the one responsible for the very light that "enlightens" us.
As writers, we hold the tension of reality and what reality is/isn’t/was/could be. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I appreciated your thoughts here! Thank you.
Absolutely! That's the work of imagination =)
I read the New Yorker article you posted, and this article came up when I searched for more information about her life. I think it also gets at some of the points you were touching on.
https://newrepublic.com/article/110453/wrinkle-in-time-complexities-madeline-lengle-leonard-marcus
I really appreciate your thoughts on this topic. What I can’t wrap my head around is Elizabeth Gilbert’s confession of trying to murder the woman she loved!?! Is this truly a fact?
I had not known any of this that came out about The Tell. When I read it last year, I was (like others commenting here) struck by the "offness" of it. I didn't want to say anything because there are so many women who are not believed. But somehow all this does not surprise me.
I remember reading that article about L'Engle a while ago and it struck me so hard that I still remember where I was when I read the line about her memoirs being fiction and her fiction being autobiographies. It feels so tender about L'Engle though because I feel like I can sense her straining toward the light. Was all that straining a falsehood?
I also felt "off" about it but I often do about certain memoir genres and I never know whether that feeling is trustworthy or just my own junk coming up. But I've heard a bunch of others feel similarly about it. I also felt this way about The Salt Path, which is why I didn't read it until a year or so ago. I want to say, "Look, see! My intuition can be trusted!" because I'm learning it usually can be trusted, but I don't trust myself enough to say that fully yet 😂
Our intuition can be trusted. That is a WORD. I'm still learning that one.
I have a tenderness for L’Engle, and I imagine I always will, with all her foibles…this is a tension I’m thinking a lot about these days—how to love those who bless and wound at the same time—which is to say, how to love others.
I read The Tell before the stories about it started breaking and remember feeling like something seemed “off” about it. I didn’t believe her and questioned my own judgment because I felt suspicious of her story. It’s terrible what has come to light, and always insult to injury when we learn that people knew better and did nothing. Seems to be the flavor of the times we are living in these days. 😵💫 I’m grateful for the way you wrestle words, the way you work to be honest and say the “unsayable”.
I want to do some more thinking about this feeling many of us identify as "feeling something is off" but not trusting ourselves to say it aloud until it all comes crashing down. I feel this about so. many. things. and people and I feel like sometimes I'm just waiting for it all to surface. I don't think this can be healthy, but at the same time, I spent so many years stuffing that intuition down and I never want to do that again.
I hear you. I think it’s so complicated particularly when someone is speaking about being harmed. For much of my life, the narrative around women who reported abuse or assault centered around naming all the ways she “put herself if a situation” where harm could happen—everything from blaming her clothing choices to whether or not she was drinking, etc. It’s taken years to undo that kind of internal questioning/victim blaming. So when a story like The Tell comes out, I’m doing all the same kind of mental gymnastics to try to make sure I’m not assuming the victim is lying, etc. discernment is complicated, and more often than not, something “feels off” and that’s all I (we’ve) got to go on. We’re trying to trust ourselves, trust the victims, and believe in good faith that those in “power” are not committing evil in their own right. How do we keep learning to trust ourselves, and hold the stories of those who have suffered without an automatic posture of suspicion, especially when we live in a “culture of lies”? So much to think about….
The number of times I have "felt something is off" or and still go a million mental hoops to make absolute sure I'm not actually the problem... 🙃
The roots of the self-distrust run deep and are so so hard to dig out. sigh.
The “why” of writing and the “why” of reading are things we can examine on behalf of ourselves but maybe not so much on behalf of others, unless it is made clear in a consistent and believable way. Case in point, Bunny Wilson’s, Betrayal’s Baby, a book by a daughter about her mother. It’s very painful to read, but with a clear purpose throughout: Understanding, compassion, then forgiveness. Unless a book is mapped out in such a way, the “why” may remain a mystery for both author and reader, sending many down rabbit holes into burrows that go on forever.
I wonder a lot about whether we need to explain, or, to use your language, map out, the why for readers. It's helpful when it happens but I don't always want to do it because sometimes I want to just let the work stand for itself =)
I feel sensitive about L'Engle, being also a writer, and valuing her books and theology. And I'd read that article a few years ago and felt unmoored by it, too. But I think your approach is wise. So much of what she was accused of is sheer humanity. I wish there were a term for this type of accusation, which I see often. I confess I noticed it first when I was "diagnosed" with a mental breakdown (by very loving people in my life) in part because "it's typical of mentally ill people to have bizarre ideas about hell."
Hello? Have you ever met anyone who does NOT have bizarre ideas about hell? It's like saying "Most serial killers like chocolate" to diagnose passing serial killers. Do you know? Is there a term for this type of behavior? (Maybe we could coin one, let's try a shocker-term, a portmanteau of bizarre and hell).
Likewise, I see in myself a penchant for spotting inconsistencies in other people, the people I don't want to like. I'm always telling myself, "Look, inconsistency is low-hanging fruit." Everyone is inconsistent. No, we don't want to make excuses for wrong behavior...but it's okay to be generous with others who are also still growing. Thanks for your commentary on this subject; it applies to more than just writers.
"Sheer humanity" is right =)
I had never read Madeline L'Engle until you recommended her. I've read a few of her books and I've enjoyed them. She is a skilled author. I really appreciated your take on "truth" and canceling and reading good books.
Thank you! I recognize that maybe she isn't as skilled or the best there ever was, but she was formative for me at a particular juncture and has remained formative for me through the years.
Thank you for writing this. I listened to The Tell, and was sad to start seeing more come out about it shortly thereafter. I questioned the drug and "recovery" aspect, but it also seemed too personally fit to her life, with the conversations with her children and such, to expect something like this. I've been sucked in to all of the commentary on West's book, even though I never planned to read it. It's so sad. I appreciate how you've spoken about truth, slant, plagiarism, and writing from pain over the years. I am writing a lot from pain at the moment, privately, and although I'm nowhere near a place where it would be shared, I already worry about how to handle that in the future (maybe distance is the answer?) because of that URGE to share.
That urge, it's powerful, isn't it?
I believe this is something we all must walk in the shadow of, isn't it? And I also believe that God is always closer than we know and may, in fact, be the one responsible for the very light that "enlightens" us.
"Christ plays in ten-thousand places," so I have to believe he's playing in me.
Misremembering can often just be our way of trying to make sense of it all =)