I find your commentary painfully honest yet also refreshing. Change doesn’t come if we don’t call out prideful culture dressed in false humility for what it is.
I have seen my share of the social scene in some churches.
In most cases, they haven’t changed over the years but I have.
My identity in Christ is my best weapon against discouragement over these issues.
I have found a Church whose focus is Jesus. They teach the Bible verse by verse each Sunday and truly seem to love each other. The so called troublemakers have been weeded out by the Spirit of God.
And the women are kind and pure in heart.
It’s a bit of a miracle that at 70 I find this gift of the body of Christ as my Church.
I will pray that you and your husband continue to grow in Gods mercy at your home church.
Thank you for this post, Lore. I especially resonated with the parts about grief - I love your friend's quote: "I’ve been here before and I know the way out.”
I have been walking through the "pre-grief" of knowing my chosen family is moving back to their home country -- a place at war -- in a couple days. We'll no longer share meals, car rides, adventures, and the house that has framed our lives for the past 9 months. This grief speaks of the fear of loneliness, of missing these 3 dear souls whose lives have so intimately entwined in mine, concern for their future, and of the uncertainty of what lies ahead for us all. I fear walking past empty rooms, not hearing the sound of children's laughter, and not having impromptu coffee chats sitting on the kitchen floor because we're so engaged in talking that we bypass going to another room to find chairs.
I know the waves of grief will hit me at unexpected times after this family departs. But I also know what will keep from falling apart completely is reviewing God's faithfulness through other seasons of loss, investing in loving those he still has around me, and giving thanks for the good gift of this special chapter he gave us.
Also, thank you for sharing some music that’s been encouraging you :) I tapped on the link and wasn’t sure if you were sharing it because of what I alluded to this in the piece and meant it as a joke, or if you were serious. That is the worship leader I referenced above who has been credibly accused of financial mismanagement and spiritual abuse. It was all over the news earlier this week. I believe God speaks through flawed humans, I never doubt it, but flaws and mistakes are different than willful theft and abuse. Anyway :) I hope that’s okay to say. Again, maybe you meant it as a joke, I wasn’t sure. But if not, maybe it helps to know a fuller story :)
Here's the thing, Lore. I read your post yesterday and found it so insightful that it left me at a loss for words. Then I opened up the socials and saw yet another leader facing accusations. My cynical and jaded heart were not surprised. I woke up this morning to a different headline with a similar story. My heart breaks.
And yet it hopes. Because of you, your heart for God, and your willingness to live it out, I have hope. Thank you for that. You serve us well.
This is so spot on, Lore. I think for me the lack of integrity that goes along with significance in almost every circumstance has become expected now. I am never surprised anymore when someone falls, saddened perhaps but never surprised. And I hate that I've become so cynical.
The convo around power has been on my mind a lot lately. It just seems like power ALWAYS wins. Found myself weeping recently watching the tv show daredevil. Watching this Kingpin character that seemed to create every narrative and control so much with power grasped. Daredevil. A marvel tv show. And I find myself weeping. Angry. Lamenting to God, asking is he even doing anything? Power… those willing to step on others, grasp for it, do all kinds of evil to get it seem to win. Every single day. It’s enough to despair. I still choose the way of love. I still want to create whatever space I can with this, but at times I am overwhelmed with this reality…this broken evil that seems to keep winning everywhere I look.
I so enjoyed reading this, Lore, partly because you write so well, partly because I resonated with it, and partly because you have said the things that must be said about how the American church or the evangelicalism has harmed so many.
Somewhere in the basement hidden away with old books I once read is my very old copy of “The Search for Significance” that was first published in 1984. I believe that is when I first read it, and probably bought the workbook too. I think there was one I worked through. I had just left a cult a few years before and was just re-entering the Christian church. Someone said I needed to read this book, so I did and tried to absorb all it said.
So much water has gone under the bridge since then.
I read your words about those Christian leaders in places of power for themselves, and I could not help but think of James Dobson. I once hung on all he said or wrote. It often did not ring true, but I thought he had the answers. Recently, I met a woman who proudly told me she was a ghost writer for Shirley Dobson, and it did not surprise me she needed a ghost writer for her words that always rang hollow for me.
I live in Colorado Springs. Focus on the Family looms large in this town. But what stunned me recently was the massive, and I mean massive tombstone/mausoleum I recently came across in our local cemetery upon which the name DOBSON was engraved, and underneath that were the names Shirley and James. I found it as my husband and I were searching for our final resting place. This ostentatious display was looming large above a small plot where others could have their ashes spread if they wanted no stone but wanted a place for family to visit. The contrast was striking. I’m not sure what this all says about significance, but it certainly seemed to me that some want to make sure their mark, or the mark they think they made, is long viewed as a great and glorious thing because the money they made and the reputation they built will result in a huge monument of their own making.
I feel this. Even now, having been in a flawed but healthy church for 10 years, I still feel my hackles go up sometimes. I linger on the edges sometimes, not wanting to get too close to the center.
I have felt that nausea, especially when involved in the Christian book industry. I am grateful that I’ve been given a quiet life and a small audience here on Substack. I’ve started to feel hungry for more recognition, so this is a good reminder about how small is good.
While I believe we should use our influence and privilege when we can to speak out for the oppressed, the temptation to grasp for position and glory *for ourselves* is so insidious, as you say – it exposes our sickness rather than bringing us healing. Thanks for this post; it definitely spoke to me.
Lore, your words are always such a gift. Earlier this year, an old friend introduced to me this idea of Jesus being a “faithful nobody” and it’s really stuck with me.
I find your commentary painfully honest yet also refreshing. Change doesn’t come if we don’t call out prideful culture dressed in false humility for what it is.
I have seen my share of the social scene in some churches.
In most cases, they haven’t changed over the years but I have.
My identity in Christ is my best weapon against discouragement over these issues.
I have found a Church whose focus is Jesus. They teach the Bible verse by verse each Sunday and truly seem to love each other. The so called troublemakers have been weeded out by the Spirit of God.
And the women are kind and pure in heart.
It’s a bit of a miracle that at 70 I find this gift of the body of Christ as my Church.
I will pray that you and your husband continue to grow in Gods mercy at your home church.
Thank you for this post, Lore. I especially resonated with the parts about grief - I love your friend's quote: "I’ve been here before and I know the way out.”
I have been walking through the "pre-grief" of knowing my chosen family is moving back to their home country -- a place at war -- in a couple days. We'll no longer share meals, car rides, adventures, and the house that has framed our lives for the past 9 months. This grief speaks of the fear of loneliness, of missing these 3 dear souls whose lives have so intimately entwined in mine, concern for their future, and of the uncertainty of what lies ahead for us all. I fear walking past empty rooms, not hearing the sound of children's laughter, and not having impromptu coffee chats sitting on the kitchen floor because we're so engaged in talking that we bypass going to another room to find chairs.
I know the waves of grief will hit me at unexpected times after this family departs. But I also know what will keep from falling apart completely is reviewing God's faithfulness through other seasons of loss, investing in loving those he still has around me, and giving thanks for the good gift of this special chapter he gave us.
Hi Lore, I think we might be surprised what God is actually doing behind the scenes in ways we don't understand. It's hard to say.....
Keeping our eyes on flawed humans is tough-we are always disappointed. I am constantly reminded to keep my eyes on Jesus instead.
ps not sure what kind of worship music you listen to but I've been super surprised at this new album--so uplifiting.
https://open.spotify.com/album/265UsPLTYvEVfdDQMh7L6b?si=s1MUWakhT7annBtZIa_4hQ
Eyes on Jesus for sure.
Also, thank you for sharing some music that’s been encouraging you :) I tapped on the link and wasn’t sure if you were sharing it because of what I alluded to this in the piece and meant it as a joke, or if you were serious. That is the worship leader I referenced above who has been credibly accused of financial mismanagement and spiritual abuse. It was all over the news earlier this week. I believe God speaks through flawed humans, I never doubt it, but flaws and mistakes are different than willful theft and abuse. Anyway :) I hope that’s okay to say. Again, maybe you meant it as a joke, I wasn’t sure. But if not, maybe it helps to know a fuller story :)
Our friend Leo McGarry ❤️
Our friend. RIP.
Here's the thing, Lore. I read your post yesterday and found it so insightful that it left me at a loss for words. Then I opened up the socials and saw yet another leader facing accusations. My cynical and jaded heart were not surprised. I woke up this morning to a different headline with a similar story. My heart breaks.
And yet it hopes. Because of you, your heart for God, and your willingness to live it out, I have hope. Thank you for that. You serve us well.
🧡🧡
This is a quietly prophetic word... Thank you for these thoughts, as they encourage my own ponderings.
Amen sister.
I share so many of the same sentiments. Thanks.
I can’t stop thinking about something you said at dinner weeks ago, that the church has used up its capital.
:( *sigh* Yeah.
This is so spot on, Lore. I think for me the lack of integrity that goes along with significance in almost every circumstance has become expected now. I am never surprised anymore when someone falls, saddened perhaps but never surprised. And I hate that I've become so cynical.
The convo around power has been on my mind a lot lately. It just seems like power ALWAYS wins. Found myself weeping recently watching the tv show daredevil. Watching this Kingpin character that seemed to create every narrative and control so much with power grasped. Daredevil. A marvel tv show. And I find myself weeping. Angry. Lamenting to God, asking is he even doing anything? Power… those willing to step on others, grasp for it, do all kinds of evil to get it seem to win. Every single day. It’s enough to despair. I still choose the way of love. I still want to create whatever space I can with this, but at times I am overwhelmed with this reality…this broken evil that seems to keep winning everywhere I look.
Maybe what we're longing for is humility. Is living closer to the ground. Is hugging those roots that will bear their own fruits.
Yes.
I so enjoyed reading this, Lore, partly because you write so well, partly because I resonated with it, and partly because you have said the things that must be said about how the American church or the evangelicalism has harmed so many.
Somewhere in the basement hidden away with old books I once read is my very old copy of “The Search for Significance” that was first published in 1984. I believe that is when I first read it, and probably bought the workbook too. I think there was one I worked through. I had just left a cult a few years before and was just re-entering the Christian church. Someone said I needed to read this book, so I did and tried to absorb all it said.
So much water has gone under the bridge since then.
I read your words about those Christian leaders in places of power for themselves, and I could not help but think of James Dobson. I once hung on all he said or wrote. It often did not ring true, but I thought he had the answers. Recently, I met a woman who proudly told me she was a ghost writer for Shirley Dobson, and it did not surprise me she needed a ghost writer for her words that always rang hollow for me.
I live in Colorado Springs. Focus on the Family looms large in this town. But what stunned me recently was the massive, and I mean massive tombstone/mausoleum I recently came across in our local cemetery upon which the name DOBSON was engraved, and underneath that were the names Shirley and James. I found it as my husband and I were searching for our final resting place. This ostentatious display was looming large above a small plot where others could have their ashes spread if they wanted no stone but wanted a place for family to visit. The contrast was striking. I’m not sure what this all says about significance, but it certainly seemed to me that some want to make sure their mark, or the mark they think they made, is long viewed as a great and glorious thing because the money they made and the reputation they built will result in a huge monument of their own making.
This hurts my heart, Sally. Thank you for sharing it with us. It’s sobering.
I feel this. Even now, having been in a flawed but healthy church for 10 years, I still feel my hackles go up sometimes. I linger on the edges sometimes, not wanting to get too close to the center.
I have felt that nausea, especially when involved in the Christian book industry. I am grateful that I’ve been given a quiet life and a small audience here on Substack. I’ve started to feel hungry for more recognition, so this is a good reminder about how small is good.
While I believe we should use our influence and privilege when we can to speak out for the oppressed, the temptation to grasp for position and glory *for ourselves* is so insidious, as you say – it exposes our sickness rather than bringing us healing. Thanks for this post; it definitely spoke to me.
Lore, your words are always such a gift. Earlier this year, an old friend introduced to me this idea of Jesus being a “faithful nobody” and it’s really stuck with me.